Open Question: How can I make my college-app essays better? Appreciated if anyone can help me. ?

Prompt 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you I simply love music. Music in any form, no matter its classical, rap, R&B, and just almost every kind of music I will fall in love to. There’s two era of my life that music was with me all the time and gave me all the influences. Those times are the time during middle school and the time during first two years of high school. Music is always important to me, but especially during those periods of time. I play piano and clarinet since 4th grade in elementary school. When I was at Taiwan and during middle school, I play in my school’s concert band; the school was pretty high level so there’s replacement test when I first went in. Although I wasn’t at the top of the members when I first got in, my passion in music never cease, any it even start to change the way I view anyone and anything. I used to be not as nice as now in a way towards people. I use to be straight on what I think and don’t take consideration of any advices from any one who tries to help me. At through difficult pieces and songs I started to become real good at clarinet and piano. The first few days of U.S. are a little bit frightening and scary for me because my English skills are not that well taught. Music help me build of relationships with others and connections with others. I started to join the concert band and had a great year. The second year was more exciting and challenging for me. The first day of school me and my friends walked together to the band room and checked out our new seat. I looked at the sheet and can’t believe what I just see on that paper, “first seat” in clarinet, which represents the first of the symphonic band. This new gave me recognition from the band conductor and from my friends. Al thought during years of junior and months of senior I stop playing clarinet and piano, but music still came to me in a different way. I started to learn how to express music not through the instruments, but through my body by singing. At first it I was bad at it just like any little kid’s first try to learn how to bike. But after a few months and practices, I started to have courage and confidence to go karaoke and perform to my friends and even perform to my family when I go back to Taiwan last summer. I can proudly say to anyone that I love music and music is the most important to me. All my life I’ve been close to music and I think I’ll continue to love music and share it with anyone. PROMPT 1 “Describe the world you come from, your family, community or school- and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.” First of all, I was born in Connecticut, U.S. My dad came to U.S. to get his master degree and I was born that time, after few month of my birth my parents and I moved back to Taiwan. This meant a lot to me when I was growing up in Taiwan because to go to U.S. or related to U.S. is a dream for Taiwanese children to imagine. I’ve lived for 14 years in Taiwan until high school starts then my parents decided to let me come alone and learn how to be independent and take responsibilities by myself. My birth place and my parents’ plan have shaped me to become more responsible and independent then when I was back in Taiwan. My family is a Christian family; this is a big part of out family and to me. We go to church every weekend and it is still the center part of our family. My parents still pray for me in Taiwan everyday and I still pray for them everyday here. My family is a small family consists of four people, my parents, me and my brother. My dad is a company’s manager and my mom is a manager from a company too. I am the older brother. We used to hang out every weekend and go on vacation but now I came here so its harder for me to be with them like before, this situation has made me value our time together in summer more. I am always looking forward to meet them every year and I hope my family can move here and be with me all the time. Lynbrook High School is a very hard working and spirited high school. This high school made me to work hard and competitive in any aspects. America is a reality world, I learned that because I’ve been living without my family for 3 years and I know how hard it is to live with myself. My life style is switching all the time, from being born here to living with family in Taiwan, from that to living here again by myself. This has made my personality more easy going and independent than before. The world now is full of difficulties and junctures. My dream is to simply graduate from college get a master degree and be just like a normal worker who has time for music and religion.