Open Question: My personal statement for applying to college - is it any good or totally rubbish?

I have to write a personal statement for my college application form including my hobbies and interests, positions of responsibility, sporting and music achivements, etc. How could I improve my personal statement? Also, are there any grammatical or spelling errors (I'm from the UK by the way). thanks The choices for the A Level courses I plan to take rely on my interests in the subjects, and my career ambitions, which I hope, with the right grades, will allow me to complete my education at University in the future. Since attending secondary school, I have developed some of my abilities. I have gained more self confidence, and more optimistic. This has allowed me to perform in a classical music concert playing the piano, and to give group presentations in front of the class. I have also become more independent, which has helped me to revise for exams and achieve grades well above those predicted. I am a social person who enjoys meeting new people and works well in groups, and enjoy taking a supporting role in group discussions. I am a reliable pupil, able to complete work on time and meet deadlines. In my lower school, I had the opportunity to help younger pupils with their reading. After being declined work experience at a hospital, due to limited places, and the inability to have access to many areas because of not being at least sixteen years of age, I chose to carry out work experience out at after school French classes, for primary school children. Being of French nationality, and having the ability to speak fluent French, and understand spoken Arabic, I found work experience to be a valuable time in which I learnt to engage with the pupils and help them, whilst seeing them improve their foreign language skills, in a fun and friendly atmosphere. I was able to help the children play games that helped them learn French, and had the chance to ask them questions to see what they had learnt. Being involved in a learning atmosphere allowed me to improve my skills to listen and explain clearly to others. Out of school my interests include listening to and performing different styles of music. I have been playing the piano since the age of 7, and am working towards grade 6 on the piano. I have also been involved in a workshop to help me improve my playing skills. I have been swimming for a local club since the age of 6, and have taken part in swimming galas. My interest in science ensures that I keep myself regularly informed of news stories surrounding the subject. This makes me aware of the world around me.